by Tom Elias

H.E. Ellis sure has some interesting marketing strategies for selling books.  I tried calling her all day yesterday, and her voicemail and I got to know one another.  Eventually I got this note, though.  I think she’s leveraging the savvy of that guy in Nigeria here.  Either that or Mr. Mikopka is our agent.  Or publisher.  Maybe both…

My Dear Earth Friend,

I know this proposal letter might be a pleasant surprise to you as we don’t know ourselves before. I am from Earth born 25 years ago, now seeking asylum in Purgatory under (OHD). I contacted you as a cause of my serious search for a reliable and trust worthy person that can handle such a confidential transaction of this nature.

My Late father former Defense Minister under the regime Ex president of Hell, but was assassinated by the rebels during the civil war and properties destroyed, but I narrowly escaped with some very important documents entitled REAPERS WITH ISSUES valued at $4.99 of U.S Dollars deposited by my late father in a high financial company here in Purgatory. Other items of a virtual nature are valued at $1.99 U.S Dollars to be hidden inside devices such as Kindles. or Nooks.

However, I seek with the problem of securing a trust worthy foreign personality like you to help me transfer these documents pending when I will come over to your Earth for us to meet for investment of the money. On commencement of this transaction I want to let you understand that the future of myself and of my fellow document experts H.E. Ellis, S. Quinn Shaw, Tom Elias and Mikhail Vlakfeld depends solely on this money. So please keep this business to yourself only to avoid raise eye brow of any third party aliens.

I am eagerly expecting your urgent response.

Yours Sincerely,

Abaniye Adophe Mikopka-Reaper